Most families don’t realize that many of our most cherished family memories are wrapped up in the things we’ve collected through the years. We spend a lifetime filling our homes with more than just objects; we fill them with stories, memories and the physical markers of our family history. When a loved-one passes on, there …
Most families don’t realize that many of our most cherished family memories are wrapped up in the things we’ve collected through the years. We spend a lifetime filling our homes with more than just objects; we fill them with stories, memories and the physical markers of our family history. When a loved-one passes on, there is a LOT to sift through and distribute – all while emotions are high. As I navigated the process of estate distribution following my mother’s passing, it became very clear that traditional methods of spreadsheets and sticky notes just aren’t sufficient. We need a way to distribute items easily, fairly and quickly in a way that preserves the legacy of a life well-lived.
A Journey of Love and Loss
My journey is probably like many of yours. It’s a humbling thing to see your parents decline. For us, it started too soon. I was in my thirties, my mom was 59. Her decline happened very rapidly, and definitely too young. My mom became ill in the winter. She thought it was the flu. But it just didn’t go away. It was easy to pass off as catching whichever bug was going around. After all, she worked for the school district and was in contact with lots of kids every day who could have passed along some germs. My mom was the warmest person in the world…until you mention going to a doctor. When she wasn’t able to function at work, she finally set an appointment. Many tests later she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. She declined quickly, and within four months we were all saying our goodbyes.
Something miraculous happened during those four months. Our rural community and church community rallied around my family in an inspiring way. They were all good, honest, down-to-earth people. My siblings each took turns staying with my parents to help care for my mom. Several of us lived out of state. My mom’s visiting teachers from our church organized visits, meals, and rides to appointments to fill in gaps. They were angels on earth. And even though the journey ended with my mom’s passing, the love that was shared and the friendships that were created continue. I think that is a blessing from God. The miracle happens when we love our neighbors the way He loves us.
The Struggle of Traditional Distribution
Following my mom’s passing, my family had a LOT of belongings to go through. A lifetime of memories encapsulated in her everyday things. We wanted to distribute her items in a way that preserved our family bonds and spread her legacy amongst her children. We did this by working on it a little at a time, whenever one of us traveled to visit. It was a very tedious, old-school method. We were mired in too many texts, emails and phone calls and it took several years. Clearly, we needed an easier and better way to sort and distribute her things.
A Modern Challenge for a Large Family
Fast forward twenty-five years, and my recently widowed mother-in-law needed to move out of her home. My in-laws had eight children, thirty-seven grandchildren and were loved by ALL of them! They were the rare and enviable high-functioning family unit. And their home was truly their kingdom, holding memories and family stories that are told and retold at family gatherings. When moving Mom to a better situation, we needed to sort through and distribute most of her belongings. To complicate the process, four of her eight children lived in different states. We needed a new method of sorting and distributing items fairly to a large group of people who all had an interest in meaningful items – and do it long-distance!
From One Hundred Hours to One Simple Solution
My husband and I spent nearly a hundred hours photographing her belongings, creating organized digital catalogs, sending these catalogs out to the siblings to view, and created our own special algorithm to fairly distribute items. It was a lot of work! But something wonderful happened. All of the siblings were all able to participate in this memory-sharing, sorting/distributing work, whether they lived nearby or not. And the algorithm made the distribution fair and easy. What took my siblings and I several years, was done in less than a month. And my husband and I started thinking, someone should really create an app like this. Something that can make it easy to share memories, sort items, keep it fair, and do it fast.
Introducing the EstateShare App
May I introduce the EstateShare app. EstateShare is a web-based platform designed specifically to help families organize, catalog, and share heirlooms without the stress of lengthy traditional methods. Don’t let the weight of stuff overwhelm you.
See how a modern approach can turn a complex process into a shared celebration of legacy.